1. First and foremost - has anyone here (in whatever room, space, gathering I happen to be in) not encountered the concept of having, holding, and setting boundaries? And if so, how did this happen? What’s the story behind missing out on boundaries. This is important, essential intel.

2. Is this experience, this moment, this event going to be demanding in terms of potential boundary deployment? Is this a high end, muscle flexing encounter or is it low key and mostly vanilla, on the low end of the boundary spectrum? What will be required of me here?

3. How will it all play out? Because inevitably, it will. What will it be like to have the various and sundry boundaries show themselves? How will it happen? Will it be overt or covert? It’s a mystery. I’m watching, waiting. But usually I can safely gamble on a covert display.

4. Who has “good boundaries” and who has “bad boundaries”? I’m always scanning for “bad boundaries.” What do “bad boundaries” look like, one might ask? You’ll know when you feel it, see it. The experience of inner discomfort, in the moment, that icky feeling that something is off, “something’s not right” signal is what to notice, to pay heed.

5. Who has boundaries that fit with mine? Who is a match for me in the room? This is my favorite part of the game. At this point in life, I’m looking for solid boundary resonance. I don’t have time or much patience for the rest. And what a gift it is, when you find your people.

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